I’m the first of my friends to have a baby, so I get asked a
lot to describe motherhood. Obviously I wheel out all the old classics. “It’s
exhausting, ha ha!” I say with a laugh as I mentally calculate the number of
broken hours of sleep I had the night before. Four or five. “It’s amazing.” I
say (probably after a slightly better night’s sleep) as I gaze at my (probably
sleeping) little boy and wonder at his beauty. “It’s hard work,” I admit, when
I’m replying honestly. “Harder than I thought.”
Having this conversation with a friend last week, she
relayed something that another mum friend of hers had said in answer to this
question. And her simple, honest answer has really stuck with me.
“It never stops.”
Because honestly, magical, amazing, hard, emotional,
incredible, moving, exhausting and challenging as motherhood is, that’s what it
all comes down to. It’s all-consuming.
IT
NEVER
STOPS.
You’re always looking forward to overcoming a hurdle,
whether small (will he swallow this last mouthful of Weetabix without spraying
it over me with an almighty raspberry?) or big (will he ever sleep longer than
four hours without waking up screaming for me?). But the truth is, once one
hurdle is overcome (he swallowed the Weetabix! Jubilation!), another always
arises (he’s trying to eat the hairdryer, oh dear).
IT
NEVER
STOPS.
The big challenges are always lurking in the background, the
small ones forever arising and passing by. Time passes by so quickly when it’s
divided into the daily routine of your tiny dependant – nap, feed, meal, play,
nap, play, bath, bed, and however many tiny trials and tribulations you get
through each day, the to-do list is never empty. They never, ever stop needing
you.
As they grow, their needs change, but your responsibilities
as a parent remain the same. Be there for them. Keep them safe. Try to make
them happy. Love them.
The working day is never done.
I’ve only been doing it for nine months and I’m already
exhausted – and fellow parents have stopped lying to me now. I’m in on the
secret. It doesn’t get easier – it just changes.
IT
NEVER
STOPS.
On particularly tired days (or more often on the 3am shift)
do I want to hand my notice in? Sure.
Do I wish I earnt holiday and benefits like my old job? I
certainly wouldn’t turn down a week in Barbados.
But I’d want to take my boy with me. My Weetabix-spraying,
hairdryer-eating, floor face-planting, never-sleeping son, who has challenged
me more than I’ve ever been challenged, and taught me more about love than I’d
learnt in 29 years in 9 short months.
So we’ll keep on going. We’ll never stop.
Thank you to my amazing mum, Jackie, who has never, EVER stopped. In
30 years.
Love you! Now, let's go on hols to Barbados again please xx Tara xx
ReplyDeleteOK. DEAL.
DeleteThanks for sharing that Rebecca. I am late joining comments, but you put it sooo well, I had to tell you. Trust me it does get easier,and even more wonderful. You sound like a great mum.
ReplyDeleteBlessings
Jen