Two years ago, I was planning a wedding, moving house and
starting a new role covering for my boss running Glamour.com. I’m not someone
who talks about ‘life goals’ (too cynical), more ‘cheese goals’ and ‘goals
scored by Southampton FC’, but if I was, at that moment in time, I would have
been pretty satisfied with how I was measuring up against my hopes at home and
in my career.
ENTER A BABY.
Now I’m not saying that having a baby hasn’t fulfilled one
of the major ‘life goals’ (vomit) that I had. I have always wanted kids. But in
terms of day-to-day achievements, things have changed. These are a few of my adjusted
daily life goals. If I achieve more than one, it’s a very good day.
- Sleeping from the time I go to bed until past 1am.
- Sleeping past 6am in the morning.
- Sleeping at all, actually.
- Washing my hair.
- Brushing my hair.
- Not having a chunk of my clean or unclean hair pulled out by a 4-month-old.
- Changing a nappy that hasn’t exploded through one or more layers of clothes.
- Getting through the day without being vomited on.
- Eating food with cutlery in both hands.
- Having cereal for only one of my three daily meals.
- Successfully talking to someone to whom I don’t have to refer to myself as ‘mummy’.
Mummy's got to dash, nap time's over.
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