(Alternative
working title: Thanks for NOTHING, London)
A worrying
development on the London underground that I’ve recently learnt of: sitting
down on the tube can cause temporary blindness.
It is only upon taking
your seat that this affliction hits, as beady eyesight is naturally necessary
for outwitting fellow commuters and obtaining said seat.
But once down,
BAM! Up to 50%* of passengers may suddenly lose the ability to see past their
Metro/ iPhone/ nose.
*Guestimate
Let me break
here for a moment.
I’m pregnant.
Pretty early days – and I’d been feeling good, despite my hour-long commute
surrounded by some of the earth’s most miserable humans, until now – but I’ve
recently started fainting / feeling very woozy when standing for long periods.
Fainting isn’t fun at the best of times, but when you’re trying to protect a
bean-sized human in your tummy, it’s particularly scary. So sitting down on the
train / tube is actually quite ideal. For one, sitting down nearly always stops
you passing out. Secondly, you can’t collapse on top of several people/ hit
your head / do serious damage.
Asking for a
seat is not something I find easy. Interaction with other humans in general is
painful, but asking favours of strangers is basically something I’m allergic to
(similarly to most Brits, I think).
NEW TO MY BLOG? READ ABOUT IT HERE. :)
NEW TO MY BLOG? READ ABOUT IT HERE. :)
AND SO, enter
the magical ‘Baby on board’ badge, from the lovely folk at the TFL. It’s
basically a sign that says ‘I wouldn't mind sitting down, if possible. And I’m
not just being lazy’.
Getting hold of
the badge wasn't easy. First Great Western, as part of a wider mission to make
all its customers miserable, don’t do badges and require a doctor’s note to
issue a pass, which you then have to flash at your fellow passengers like the
seat police, while asking for their seat, which is what you wanted to avoid
having to do in the first place. And the multiple underground stations I
visited were out of the badges, and ‘didn't know’ when they’d be getting more.
But a friendly
colleague had a badge not in use and so voila, onto my coat it went, and onto
the tube I climbed, excited at the prospect of a journey without the stress of
choosing between asking for a seat and coming to in someone’s lap, drenched in
sweat with my handbag halfway down the carriage.
But back to the
problem at hand – the temporary blindness.
My fellow
passengers simply could not SEE the badge, pinned on my chest. I stood in that
middle section between the two rows of seats, getting hotter and hotter and
occasionally casting hopeful glances at the people sitting below me. Three
women aged roughly 20-30, in the space of two stops looked up at me, glanced at
the badge, and then looked back down at phones/papers/anywhere but at me.
I get it – it’s
nice sitting down. And I don’t look that pregnant. But TRUST ME, if I didn’t
feel like I needed a seat, I wouldn’t be wearing the badge.
After six stops,
a business man at the other end of the carriage spotted me and offered me his
seat, (thanks man,) which I gratefully accepted, as the temporarily-blind
passengers watched, seemingly cured.
It is a bit crap
that women have to wear a badge rather than feel that they can ask for a seat
(my fault) but it’s even CRAPPER (my blog, my word) that when they do wear that
badge, and ask for help, that people just blatantly ignore it.
It isn’t just
badge wearers that people are blind to, either. Old folk, young children, those
less able to stand and generally crackered people in need of seats are all too
frequently left wobbling about while smug young folk enjoy a seat they don’t
really need.
Take a look
around you commuters; there might be someone who could do with a sit down. And
if doing a good deed isn’t motivation enough, think of the BRILLIANTLY AMAZING
free karma you’ll get to cash in at a later date.
Over and out.
UPDATE: I feel I should add that since writing the above, my fainty stage seems to have finished and I've stopped wearing the badge, as right now I don't feel like I need a seat. But I'm now even more aware than ever of when people are sitting down in the place of someone who needs a seat more than them. I see someone everyday. Nearly all friends and colleagues I talk to are surprised by this, saying they always notice people getting up for people - but I'd urge you to look around for yourself; maybe I just get on the most miserable tube in London? Somehow I think not.
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UPDATE: I feel I should add that since writing the above, my fainty stage seems to have finished and I've stopped wearing the badge, as right now I don't feel like I need a seat. But I'm now even more aware than ever of when people are sitting down in the place of someone who needs a seat more than them. I see someone everyday. Nearly all friends and colleagues I talk to are surprised by this, saying they always notice people getting up for people - but I'd urge you to look around for yourself; maybe I just get on the most miserable tube in London? Somehow I think not.
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